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Office Romance

23 Aug

I have enjoyed various flings “romances” at my places of employment throughout the years. It entertains my ever-progressive mind while I attempt to do the tedious day-to-day tasks required of me in a typical 9-to-5er.

The most memorable? Dustin while working at Robyn Todd, Patrick at Crossroads Plaza and Dave at SkinCareRx.  Some romances have been completely out in the open; others have been cloaked under the cover of secrecy (always more fun in my opinion!).

I think it’s high-time for another one.

And if it can happen like this, that’d be ideal. Minus the guy’s wig.

It’s Not You. It’s Me.

1 Aug

As I have recently re-immersed myself into the dating world, I’ve found that things are a bit different this time around.


Allow me to impart a brief account of my romantic history. Get excited.

1997 – 2001
I dated/”went out with” who I wanted, when I wanted, how I wanted and where I wanted. Of course, during this time I had my first boyfriend (Rod) and my first kiss (Spencer) and finally, I rejoiced in my relationship with my first love; my highschool sweetheart (Randy) who I remained with until half-way through my senior year.

2001 – 2003
I did quite a bit of dating during this time (to make up for lost time… maybe??) and I relished in all the attention I was getting from boys men. I dated Aaron on and off over the course of 1 1/2 years and I adored his “squeaky-clean”, modest, yet hilarious personality. I dated Chris who I enjoyed cuddling and watching movies with. I dated Dustin, Jared and Dylan who were all in their mid 20’s (this must be where my infatuation with older men began) when I was barely 18 years old. I grappled with the idea of possibly “being in love” with my childhood best friend and neighbor Kendall, who was preparing to serve a mission for our church. I dated Doug who I enjoyed summer activities with like swimming and hiking. I met several men at my place of employment – Crossroads Plaza , a shopping center located in downtown Salt Lake City. Some I went on dates with; others I did not.

August 2003
I met Patrick at work. He worked at the phone store at Crossroads Plaza and I worked in the shopping center management office. We crossed each other’s path and BAM! Instant connection (seriously, this was as close to a “love-at-first-sight” as I think humanly possible). I kept my distance at first since I had a handful of other men I was enjoying the company of. Patrick persisted for a few weeks before I finally agreed to go out with him. What can I say? I’m easily persuaded.

June 2004
Patrick became my husband.

Now if you are still reading (what would ever possess me to write about my dating history, I do not know), congratulations! Fast forward to post divorce.

2008 – Current
I flirted with Brennan who shortly thereafter became engaged to a lovely lady. I went on a really creative date with Nick who I never saw again. I gave Jared my number who never called. I gave “googly eyes” to Matt who didn’t get the picture (I still do give him googly eyes, in fact). I dated Dave. We could never get past the “friends that kiss” thing. I dated Jay for 2+ years; neither of us could quite commit. I dated a handful of other guys (Andrew, Jonathon, Adam, Corey and Clint), where there was just no profound connection.

Finally, I dated Chris, who I was completely smitten with. He was 37 years old and the 10+ year gap didn’t bother me one bit. He was attractive, intelligent, creative and cultured. When we were together, he would gaze into my eyes. After our 4th date, I never heard from him again (This one stung a bit – not gonna lie. It was the last thread that propelled me right into my current dating hiatus).

You see any stark differences here? Why such a torrential rain of romantic failures? Is this pay-back for my seemingly blissful (at least on my end!) romances of my vivacious youth? Is this just nature balancing things out?

Is this just preparing me for my everlasting beloved? The man of my dreams?

I really, really, reeeeeaaallly hope so.

*Names have NOT been changed to expose the guilty.

Date Night

23 Jul

It’s common knowledge that when one experiences an earth-shattering, life-altering event, his or her loved ones- family, friends, church leaders, coworkers, neighbors, random lady at the local market- will recommend a book that “seriously carried me through the hard times” or “enlightened my troubled heart”.

I experienced such an event.

I had just found myself a newly single mother and a single woman. On the nightstand next to my bed, I had accumulated a large stack of books from said loved ones to help me heal and adjust to this new life.

I read them all. Some proved to be helpful- others I could barely get through. I don’t remember any of the titles (if I did, I would lovingly provide a self-help library here for your reading pleasure, because seriously, I had dozens of books!).

Except one. Oh, there was one.

I’ll never forget this literary “work”, given to me by a co-worker who was given to her by her son after her divorce.

Finding the Boyfriend Within, written by a colorful, homosexual and at times, irreverent man.

I’ll admit, I was not entirely excited to read this one. I thought to myself, “What could a gay man, in his mid 30’s, living in New York City, writing a gay/lesbian self-help book possibly teach me- a barely 20-something, single mother from Salt Lake City, Utah???” (Another time, remind me to tell you all how my snoopy, elderly and extremely conservative landlord discovered this piece of work!)

Reluctantly, I opened the cover and began to read the introduction. And then the first chapter, second chapter…

I have to confess, I didn’t actually finish the entire book. The writing wasn’t exceptional in my opinion- however, to my surprise and delight, the overall message was. Well kind of.

As the title “Finding the Boyfriend Within” may suggest, the overall theme of the book is about reflection, self-love and self-nurturing. The author suggests you acknowledge your own inner and outer beauty, write yourself love letters, give yourself gifts, send yourself flowers and even… take yourself out on dates! In public! Ack!

Although I have yet to write myself a love letter or send myself flowers (this does seem a bit self-absorbed), I have since tried to take his advice and apply it in the real world and I have dated myself (boy, that sounds a bit narcissistic- but really, this can be done in a modest way).

It’s a little uncomfortable at first, but believe you me, it ends up to be a grand time. Maybe even the best date you could ever have? Onlookers think it’s confident, mysterious and cool. At least that’s what I tell myself.

So, I find myself on the heels of yet, another heartache (alright, it’s been over six months, but it’s been a rough one, ok?!) and what’s a girl to do you ask? Take herself out for shopping, massage and a romantic sushi dinner on a tea-light lit patio on a perfect, summer night of course!

So to all you love birds and to all you lovely singles- Happy Date Night!

Happy, indeed.