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Date Night

23 Jul

It’s common knowledge that when one experiences an earth-shattering, life-altering event, his or her loved ones- family, friends, church leaders, coworkers, neighbors, random lady at the local market- will recommend a book that “seriously carried me through the hard times” or “enlightened my troubled heart”.

I experienced such an event.

I had just found myself a newly single mother and a single woman. On the nightstand next to my bed, I had accumulated a large stack of books from said loved ones to help me heal and adjust to this new life.

I read them all. Some proved to be helpful- others I could barely get through. I don’t remember any of the titles (if I did, I would lovingly provide a self-help library here for your reading pleasure, because seriously, I had dozens of books!).

Except one. Oh, there was one.

I’ll never forget this literary “work”, given to me by a co-worker who was given to her by her son after her divorce.

Finding the Boyfriend Within, written by a colorful, homosexual and at times, irreverent man.

I’ll admit, I was not entirely excited to read this one. I thought to myself, “What could a gay man, in his mid 30’s, living in New York City, writing a gay/lesbian self-help book possibly teach me- a barely 20-something, single mother from Salt Lake City, Utah???” (Another time, remind me to tell you all how my snoopy, elderly and extremely conservative landlord discovered this piece of work!)

Reluctantly, I opened the cover and began to read the introduction. And then the first chapter, second chapter…

I have to confess, I didn’t actually finish the entire book. The writing wasn’t exceptional in my opinion- however, to my surprise and delight, the overall message was. Well kind of.

As the title “Finding the Boyfriend Within” may suggest, the overall theme of the book is about reflection, self-love and self-nurturing. The author suggests you acknowledge your own inner and outer beauty, write yourself love letters, give yourself gifts, send yourself flowers and even… take yourself out on dates! In public! Ack!

Although I have yet to write myself a love letter or send myself flowers (this does seem a bit self-absorbed), I have since tried to take his advice and apply it in the real world and I have dated myself (boy, that sounds a bit narcissistic- but really, this can be done in a modest way).

It’s a little uncomfortable at first, but believe you me, it ends up to be a grand time. Maybe even the best date you could ever have? Onlookers think it’s confident, mysterious and cool. At least that’s what I tell myself.

So, I find myself on the heels of yet, another heartache (alright, it’s been over six months, but it’s been a rough one, ok?!) and what’s a girl to do you ask? Take herself out for shopping, massage and a romantic sushi dinner on a tea-light lit patio on a perfect, summer night of course!

So to all you love birds and to all you lovely singles- Happy Date Night!

Happy, indeed.